10. Though we both have government jobs, mine does not involve being the leader of the free world.
9. He is a “light skinned” Black; I am light skin-ded.
8. I personally grew and picked the cotton used to make the underpants you are at this moment wearing.
7. Unlike the White House garden, the only plants I grow in my organic garden are collard greens, yams, and grits.
6. I have the words to “Lift Every Voice and Sing” tattooed across my back.
5. I do, in fact, speak in Negro dialect.
4. I shine shoes. (Well, just my own, but I’m sure the President has someone who does his.)
3. My last name means “She of the Mothership Connection” in Swahili.
2. I am the real-life person on whom the Blaxploitation film character Cleopatra Jones was based.
And the number one reason why I am blacker than Barack Obama:
1. Because I know all the words to the theme song to “What’s Happening!!”
(With apologies to former Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich.)