This So-Called Post-Post-Racial Life

July 30, 2009

Obama’s Origins, Revealed

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — pprscribe @ 5:16 pm

Obama was actually born in Tasmania where he was abandoned by his parents and was left there to be raised in the wild by a pack of Tasmanian wolves . He was then kidnapped by Somali pirates who had been blown off course. When they got to the East African coast, he jumped ship and ended up in Kenya where he was adopted by a white American mother and a black African father who were on a sight-seeing tour and big game safari. They then moved to Hawaii. Thinking that Barack might someday run for president, his adoptive parents decided it would be a prudent idea to fake his citizenship. They paid off local officials in Hawaii and got the newspaper in Honolulu to go into its old files (in the newspaper business these are called the “morgue’) and place a fake birth announcement in the paper. The rest is history. You could look it up. (Source: commenter “Big Easy,” July 28, 2009 at 10:18 AM)


Recognizing and celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the entry of Hawaii into the Union as the 50th State.

Image credit: US Postal Service

Image credit: US Postal Service

Whereas August 21, 2009, marks the 50th Anniversary of President Dwight D. Eisenhower’s signing of Proclamation 3309, which admitted Hawaii into the Union in compliance with the Hawaii Admission Act, enacted by the United States Congress on March 18, 1959;

Whereas Hawaii is `a place like no other, with a people like no other’ and bridges the mainland United States to the Asia-Pacific region;

Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii;

Whereas Hawaii has contributed to the diversity of Congress in electing the first Native Hawaiian member of Congress, Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalaniana`ole, the first Asian-American member, Hiram Fong, the first woman of color, Patsy T. Mink, and the first Native Hawaiian to serve in the Senate, Daniel Kahikina Akaka;

Whereas Hawaii is an example to the rest of the world of unity and positive race relations;

Whereas Pearl Harbor is a strategic military base for the U.S. in the Pacific and also a historical site for the Nation, being the location of the December 7, 1941, surprise Japanese aerial attack that thrust the Nation into World War II;

Whereas Hawaii is home to 1/4 of the endangered species in the United States;

Whereas Hawaii has 8 national parks, which preserve volcanoes, complex ecosystems, a Hansen’s disease colony, and other sites of historical and cultural significance;

Whereas Kilauea ranks among the most active volcanoes on Earth;

Whereas President Bush nominated the Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization World Heritage Centre for consideration to the World Heritage List;

Whereas Hawaii has produced musical legends ranging from traditional favorites such as Alfred Apaka, Don Ho, and Genoa Keawe, to Hawaii renaissance performers such as Eddie Kamae, Raymond Kane, Gabby Pahinui, Israel Kamakawiwo`ole, the Brothers Cazimero, and the Beamer Brothers, and continuing on to contemporary stars such as Keali`i Reichel, Ledward Kaapana, Jake Shimabukuro, and Raiatea Helm;

Whereas Hawaii is culturally rich, as the Hawaiian culture has been protected through Hawaiian language immersion schools, hula competitions such as the Merrie Monarch Festival, canoeing voyages undertaken by vessels like the Hokule`a, and the continuing historic preservation of Hawaiian traditions;

Whereas the Hawaii Statehood Commission has held a Joint Session of the Hawaii State Legislature in honor of statehood and will be celebrating this milestone with a public discussion and with the arrival of the USS Hawaii; and

Whereas for all of these reasons Hawaii is a truly unique State: Now, therefore, be it

    Resolved, That the House of Representatives recognizes and celebrates the 50th Anniversary of the entry of Hawaii into the Union as the 50th State.

(Source; Unanimously approved by the US House of Representatives)


  1. Hilarious! Thank you for this painfully fitting parody.
    –Liberty Hultberg

    Comment by Liberty Hultberg — August 2, 2009 @ 12:25 pm

  2. Thanks, Liberty! I do not know the real identity of the commenter who wrote that but s/he hit it out of the park on that one.

    Comment by pprscribe — August 3, 2009 @ 11:23 am

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